This is a good way to start a flame war!

Lots of different opinions on this. Some people are passionate about 80% to maximize their battery life. Some people insist that they've paid for a full battery and they're going to charge to 100% every day. These are usually the people who don't plan on keeping the car past the warranty expiration. The truth is somewhere in the middle, where you're probably OK charging to 100% (especially with Toyota/Subaru being so conservative, as you said), but you'll probably maximize life by sticking with 80-90% on a regular basis, as you suggested you may do.
I fall in the middle camp. I have a Chevy Bolt EUV right now, but I would follow the same plan if I get a Solterra. I very rarely need a full charge to get through a day, so I typically charge to 80%. If I plan on traveling more than 100 miles or so the next day, I'll set the charge limit to 100% so that it's full in the morning -- and then set the departure time for morning so that it's not sitting at 100% for a long time, but that's probably being overly cautious.
I do, however tend to leave the vehicle plugged in all the time so that the Battery Management System can do it's thing to keep the battery in a decent temperature range. This is a good idea in the cold temperatures in winter where I live and also in the hotter temperatures in summer down south.
One other related item... some people are under the impression that the Solterra is equipped with an LFP (Lithium Iron Phosphate) battery. There is no actual evidence of that, but if that were true, then charging up to 100% has very little negative effect on battery life. The Solterra battery has the poor cold temperature performance of a LFP battery, but it doesn't have other characteristics, such as cell voltage, of a LFP battery. Plus, I think if Subaru was using LFP, they would be bragging about the improved life cycles, safety, and sustainability of their batteries. Would be nice if we could find this out for sure.